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The Egyptian Bride
By Ilene Springer
For all that religion played in ancient
Egyptian life, there was one place it had no role at all: the
Egyptian marriage. There wasn’t even a civil ceremony. Rather,
marriage simply took place when two young people decided to move
in together (usually the bride would move in with her husband) and
start a common household. But that doesn’t mean that marriage
was not taken seriously. From the paintings we have found, letters
that were left from grieved widowers to their deceased mates, and
from statues from all periods of ancient Egyptian history, we see
that marriage and a close family played an integral role in
ancient Egypt.
Love and Marriage
A bride would be young, about 14 or 15 years old. Her husband
could be anywhere from 17 to 20—or older if he was divorced or a
widower. The ancient Egyptians were encouraged to marry young,
considering that the life span at this time was relatively short.
"Take a wife while you are young,
that she may make a son for you
while you are youthful…" (Instructions of Ani)
Many marriages were arranged with parental consent needed, as
they have been in all societies, especially among the upper
classes. But the abundance of love poetry between young people
signifies that many couples did fall in love and choose each other
as mates. Women played a large role in arranging a marriage. A
suitor sometimes used a female go-between to approach the girl’s
mother—not her father.
 Interestingly, one of the most affectionate titles you could
call your love was "brother" or "sister" in
ancient Egypt. This had nothing to do with sibling relations, but
led many archaeologists and scholars to wrongly assume that most
ancient Egyptians married their siblings. Actually, this usually
occurred only among royalty—and was not a common occurrence.
The following is part of a love poem written by a young ancient
Egyptian woman: "My brother torments my heart with his voice,
he makes sickness take hold of me; he is neighbor to my mother’s
house, and I cannot get to him!"
Museums are filled with statues and paintings showing husbands
and wives with their arms around each other’s waists, holding
hands or offering each other flowers or food. Love and affection
was indeed a part of the Egyptian marriage, and our Egyptian bride
could expect to be loved and respected by her husband.
The Marriage Settlement
It wasn’t necessary, but most marriages had a contract drawn
up between the parties. The poorer classes probably did not do
this because they probably had few possessions to consider and
also the cost of a scribe would have been prohibitive.
 Marriage settlements were drawn up between a woman’s father
and her prospective husband, although many times the woman herself
was part of the contract. The sole purpose of the contract was to
establish the rights of both parties to maintenance and
possessions during the marriage and after divorce if it should
occur—very similar to today’s prenuptial agreements. What is
really fascinating is the equality women held with men in their
rights to own, manage and receive property.
If the marriage ended in divorce, the rights of the wife were
equally protected. Generally, she was entitled to support from her
husband, especially if she was rejected by him through no fault of
her own. The amount might equal one third of the settlement or
even more. If the bride ended up committing adultery (which was
extremely frowned upon for both men and women), she still had
certain rights to maintenance from her former husband. Monogamy,
except for some of the higher classes and royalty, seemed to be
the rule for most ancient Egyptian couples.
Here’s a standard marriage contract that had been found among
the numerous records left by the ancient Egyptians. It contained:
- The date (the year of the reign of the ruling monarch)
- The contractors (future husband and wife)
- The names of both sets of parents
- Husband’s profession (wife’s rarely mentioned)
- The scribe who drew up the contract
- The names of the witnesses
Then the details of the settlement followed. Here is the
beginning of a marriage contract from 219 BC:
"The Blemmyann, born in Egypt, son of Horpais,
whose mother is Wenis, has said to the woman
Tais, daughter of the Khahor, whose mother is
Tairerdjeret: I have made you a married woman.
As your woman’s portion, I give you two pieces of
silver…If I dismiss you as wife and dislike you and
prefer another woman to you as wife, I will give you
two pieces of silver in addition to the two pieces of
silver mentioned above… and I will give you one third
of each and everything that will accrue to you and me."
The finished document was given to a third party for
safekeeping or kept among the records of the local temple.
One of the expectations of the ancient Egyptian marriage was
the bringing forth of children. Sometimes there would be a trial
marriage for a year to see if pregnancy would occur. This was all
stipulated in the marriage contract.
In some parts of ancient Egyptian society, men were permitted
to have concubines. Naturally, it worked out better for the
husband if his bride approved. But concubines did not have the
same protective status as wives. And adultery, even in households
where there were concubines, was strongly discouraged.
The Wedding Day
The day of the marriage was really quite simple. The bride
merely moved her belongings into the home of her husband. He might
be living alone or with his parents. A common term used to
indicate marriage was grgp—meaning to set up a common
household.
So what did the bride wear? She probably wore a long dress or
tunic made of linen, which may have been covered from head to toe
with bead-net. If she owned any gold, silver or lapis, she
probably adorned herself with those, too. Unless, of course, she
just dressed "down" for moving day.
Even though there was no official ceremony, knowing how much
the ancient Egyptians loved music, dance and food, there were
bound to be family celebrations in honor of the uniting couple.
Divorce Ancient Egyptian Style
What if it didn’t work out? Divorce was as easily initiated
as marriage. Divorce could be brought about by either party; it
was a private matter and the government took no interest in it.
The most common reasons for a husband to divorce his wife
included the inability to bear children, especially a son; the
desire to marry someone else—or that she simply stopped pleasing
him. A woman could divorce her husband for mental or physical
cruelty or adultery. In some cases, if the woman chose to divorce,
she forfeited her right to communal property.
Once divorced, both men and women could remarry as soon as they
wished. And from the archives we have found, it seems that they
readily did. It’s also apparent that our ancient bride, with the
ease of marriage and divorce and the financial protection she
generally received, had a better time of it than some brides in
modern times.
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Ilene Springer (Sennuwy) writes on ancient Egypt and
archaeology. She will be taking her second trip to Egypt this
January.
Resources
Egyptian Life by Miriam Stead (Harvard University Press,
1986)
Women in Ancient Egypt by Barbara Watterson (St. Martin’s
Press, 1991)
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